“Fear makes the wolf bigger than it is.” 

- German Proverb

July 23rd, 2025, is a day I’ll always remember.

It’s the day I finally posted my first video to TikTok and Instagram.

It wasn’t planned at all.

I was actually in the middle of a Zoom call with two of my friends, when they asked me when I was going to finally start posting.

That’s when I took out my phone, looked into the camera, hit record, and spoke from the heart.

I posted it immediately.

What I’d been planning to do for 3+ years had finally been done.

I’d known that I wanted to build a personal brand on social media, but told myself I had to “get ready” first.

So why did it take so long?

First, I needed to sign up for a personal branding program, but didn’t know which one to choose. There’s so many options.

Which should I choose? BBG? Cut30? Creator College?

Obviously, I needed to research all the different programs, read testimonials, and watch reviews on YouTube before making a decision, right?

Then I needed to research the best microphones.
Then I needed to research the best lights on Amazon.
Then I needed to upgrade to the latest iPhone for the better camera.
Then I needed to watch a YouTube video about how to edit videos.
Then I needed to listen to that podcast about monetizing an audience.
Then I needed to buy that new book from Gary Vee.

You get it.

There was always something else that needed to happen first.

I’d let years go by, thinking I was setting myself up for success, when all I was doing was chasing the illusion of safety.

I was avoiding the actual thing that needed to be done in an attempt to protect myself from an unstated and unwanted consequence.

My “planning” was actually procrastination, and my procrastination was actually fear in disguise.

Fear told me I had to have everything planned out first.
Fear told me I needed to know steps A through Z.
Fear told me I needed the right equipment, blah, blah, blah.

It was all a lie.

More often than not, fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear was designed to keep us safe, but often keeps us stuck.
And in 2026, being stuck comes with an increasingly larger price tag.
The opportunity cost of not taking action is increasing exponentially in the AI era.

91.4% of our fears never occur, and of the one’s that do, they’re rarely as severe as we anticipate. This is why we have to proactively fact-check our fears. If we don’t separate fact from fiction, we’ll listen to unchecked fear, and inevitably live smaller lives than we’re capable of.

This is exactly why I created the F.A.C.T.S. Framework, and use it regularly.

It helps separate fact from fiction, so that I give fear the respect it deserves but never an ounce more.

It’s changed my life, and dozens of my students lives as well.

Hopefully it will change yours, too.

Here’s how to use it:


F — Find the Fear

First, we must find the fear, because most of our fears don't introduce themselves directly. They usually hide behind masks like “getting ready”, perfectionism, over-thinking, etc.

Fear’s power is weakened the moment we label it.

One tool that helped with this is The Feelings Wheel.

It was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox to help people become more self-aware and to label their emotions.

At center are the core primary emotions, and as you move outward, they become more specific and nuanced.

The practice is simple: you start with the vague feeling you can identify, find it on the inner ring, and then trace it outwards, layer by layer, to get more specific.

It's a map for going deeper than our default emotional vocabulary allows.

When I used it on my "not ready to post" feeling, here's what I found:

On the surface — fearful.

But fearful of what? Posting a video doesn’t carry any real danger.

One layer in — insecure.

Insecure of what? What exactly was there to be insecure about?

One layer in - inadequate.

I was ultimately afraid that my post on social media would be viewed by someone I knew and respected, and they would view it negatively and as a result of that, they would view me negatively, and as a result of that I would be deemed not good enough, and that would ultimately cost me in-real-life social connection.

Boom, there it was, I was afraid of losing social connection, something we’re all hard-wired for. We evolved as communal creatures. Social belonging isn't a preference — it's a survival mechanism.

It's why cancel culture has real teeth.
It's why solitary confinement is among the cruelest punishments ever devised.
It's why excommunication was the Catholic Church's most devastating weapon for centuries.

The fear of being rejected by your community is wired into us at a cellular level.

My brain had taken "post a video on the internet" and quietly translated it into "risk being exiled."

Once I saw that, I could finally work with it.

A — Assess the Validity of Possible Outcomes

With the real fear named and written down, the next step is to actually look at what could happen, as objectively as possible, not just through the lens of worst-case scenario planning.

Our minds are like gardens, and in every garden, the weeds always grow for free.

We must intentionally tend to our gardens to cultivate the fruit we want.

This is why irrational fears are called irrational.
Not everything we fear is valid.

Left alone, our minds will sprint to the worst possible outcome and set up camp there. They won't naturally consider the best case scenario.
They won't consider the most likely case scenario.

So, I forced myself to think about them.

I made myself look at the full picture, not just the part my brain kept zooming in on.

The best case scenario: people will view my content favorably and find it useful.

The worst case scenario: people will view my content and view it negatively. Maybe they’ll leave a mean comment.

Most likely case scenario: people won’t even see my content. The algorithm won’t show it to them, and even if they do see it, they’ll scroll onto the next post after 3 seconds.

C — Calculate the Probability Of Valid Possible Outcomes

Once I had my list of outcomes, I assigned a quick probability to each one.

There was roughly a 1 in 3 (33.3%) chance that someone would see my video, think negatively about it, and judge me. That was the scenario my brain had been treating as a near-certainty.

There was roughly a 1 in 3 (33.3%) chance that someone would watch it, find it genuinely useful, and respond positively.

And there was roughly a 1 in 3 (33.3%) chance that the algorithm simply wouldn't show it to anyone — that it would go out into the void, get seen by almost nobody, and nobody would care either way.

So the thing I had been paralyzed by for years — the judgment, the rejection, the potential loss of community — had roughly a one-in-three shot at even happening at all.

I could now see that the odds of me experiencing an adverse outcome were wildly over-blown. The most likely occurrence was that I’d actually have a neutral or positive experience. My brain had been charging me full price for a risk that, when laid out in plain numbers, wasn't nearly as expensive as advertised.

T — Take Steps to De-Risk

Calculating the probability didn't make the 1-in-3 chance of judgment disappear.

But it did make the next question obvious: what can I actually do to reduce that probability?

This step is where agency is key.

Fear thrives in helplessness — in the feeling that something bad is coming and there's nothing you can do about it. Action is the antidote. And when I looked at my situation, I had a lot of options.

I could start by posting videos without my face in them.
I could practice recording videos but not post them.
I could create a brand new account with no connection to friends or family.

There were a number of things I could do to decrease the likelihood of the outcome I wanted to avoid from happening.

The 1-in-3 chance of a negative reaction could shrink with preparation and better craft. The 1-in-3 chance of a positive response could grow.

S — Step Back for Perspective

The last step is the simplest, and sometimes the most powerful: zoom out.

One of my favorite tools is The 5X5 Rule. It says:

“If it won’t matter in 5 years, then don’ let it matter for more than five minutes.”

When I zoomed out on my fear of posting, I realized how silly it was.

No, even if the worst case scenario happened, it wouldn’t matter in 5 years, or 5 months, or 5 weeks.

It wasn’t a big deal. At all.

A few other questions I use to help keep things in perspective:

1. “Is this a one-way door or a two-way door?”

2. “Can I live with myself if I don’t act?”

3. “Is the juice worth the squeeze?”

Stepping back for perspective shows the wisdom in that German proverb: fear makes the wolf bigger than it is.

Fear definitely has its purpose.

Its kept us alive for thousands of years.

It’s incredibly beneficial in the proper amounts and contexts.

The goal isn’t to be fearless.

The goal is to have the right-sized fear — one that's proportional to our actual levels of risk.

Fear in the right size, in the right place, for the right reasons.

Not inflated. Not minimized. Commensurate.

That's the whole game.

Here's your reflection for the week:

In what way does fear disguise itself in your life? Perfectionism? Procrastination? Self-doubt? Think about the past 7 days. Is there a theme that emerges? Name it and tame it.

Here's your challenge for the week:

Challenge yourself to be aware of ONE fear per day over the next 7 days. For each fear, run it through the F.A.CT.S. Framework. After 7 days, you should have 7 different fears that you’ve fact-checked. For each one, take note if your level of was fear commensurate with your level of actual risk. Make note of any patterns you discover. Feel free to share any insights with me. I’d love to hear from you.

With courage,

Jonathan