“Managers: when one of your people does something dumb, don’t blame that person. Instead, ask yourself what context you failed to set.”
- Reed Hastings

Last week I wanted to fire the designer I’m working with to redesign my logo, brand guidelines and website.

They made a mistake and it cost me time and money.

I was upset and immediately wanted to find someone else.

But, as fate would have it, I happened to see this Instagram reel that reminded me of one of the most important leadership lessons I learned while working at Netflix.

The Instagram Reel reminded me of p.84 from Netflix’s 2009 Culture Deck, which said “when one of your talented people does something dumb, don't blame them. Ask what context you failed to set.”

It’s easy to think Netflix's success is due to their original content.

But it's not. It's actually their culture. And their culture is rooted in courage.

Although many people have heard of Netflix’s Culture Deck, very few know where it actually originates from.

Early in his marriage, Netflix co-founder, Reed Hastings and his wife saw a marriage counselor who, in his words to CNN, helped him see he was "a systematic liar."

He'd say family was the most important thing, then stay late, work weekends, and ignore the people he claimed came first.

The counselor got him to commit to total honesty, and it worked so well he took it to the office. He made honesty company protocol and told CBS that Netflix's culture of radical candor exists solely because of that counseling.

His leadership style is the gift that keeps giving.

So, after some reflection, I realized that I was the source of the problem, not the designer.

I'd handed them a task and a deadline and failed to share key details that were trapped in my head. I failed to document, the constraints, the reference files, what "good" looked like, etc.

My ego wanted to push the blame outward instead of looking inward.

Radha Agrawal, the founder of Daybreaker, has the best definition and delineation of ego I’ve seen. In her book, Belong, she talks about how we each carry two voices; red ego and green ego.

The red ego runs on insecurity, fear, and judgment. It compares, defends, and needs to be right. Underneath it, every time, sit the same two fears: I'm not enough, and I'm not in control.

The green ego runs on generosity and abundance. It's confident, cheers people on, and has room to serve.

Red ego is fear driving. It’s defensive, and dumb about the long game. It’s competitive and sees the world through a zero-sum lens.

Green ego is rooted in a healthy sense of self, is collaborative, and focused on long-term best interests. Green ego is courage driving.

Leland Val Van De Wall, the man Bob Proctor called his mentor, said it best: "The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth he can accept about himself without running away."

That's the secret. Not viral growth hacks. Not VC funding. Not timing.

The ability to sit down, look at yourself honestly, and challenge your own ego without running from what you find.

A business can never outgrow its leaders.

So the growth of Daily Courage is tied directly to my growth, and that's why I'm going to keep hunting for the truths about myself I'd rather not hear.

How about you?

Here's your reflection for the week:

Reflect on the “Green Ego vs. Red Ego” table above.
Does anything resonate with you?

Here's your challenge for the week: Ask someone you trust “where do you see my ego getting in my way?” Give them permission to tell you the unvarnished truth. Don’t argue with the answer. Challenge yourself to explore it from a place of curiosity, not defensiveness.


With courage,

Jonathan